While channel-surfing with my lovely wife, we ended up catching the final segments of What Not to Wear. The episode featured a young woman living in Manhattan. Her "after" pictures looked great.

"I wonder what the 'befores' look like," I said.

As if in response, the show cut to her "before" pictures. They were mostly a cross of college "schlump" outfits and stuff that was locked permanently in 1987. She looked more New Jersey than New York.

"She lives in the city," I said, "she should dress a little."

Wendy recoiled in horror.

"Was it something I said?" I asked.

"No, it's how you said it. You sounded just like my mother!"

Oh, great. I think I just cancelled the next fortnight's nookie, and I didn't even do anything fun like coming home completely smashed with the boys to play Grand Theft Auto.